If he or she is unwilling to do this, you can never be assured that it will not happen again. Your partner has betrayed you. Click or Tap the image above for more information. Surviving an affair is not enough At this point dealing with infidelity requires focusing on the betrayal and nothing else. However, the overwhelming majority of couples that without professional help patch the broken relationship together do not properly heal and they suffer greatly! Buy this book on Amazon. Recovering from infidelity requires carefully measuring not just what "to say," but also what "not to say.
However, the overwhelming majority of couples that without professional help patch the broken relationship together do not properly heal and they suffer greatly! The only way you can be assured the your partner will not do this again in the future, is if there is an agreement that he or she has full control over what he or she does and that he or she is not controlled by what the outside lover does! What not to say when talking about the affair: Take a look at my marriage book; it is the road map to a good marriage: If you need to "blame" someone, then direct your hostile feelings at your partner that cheated. And if this is the case, you have to think very carefully if you want to even attempt to reconcile and stay together. Surviving infidelity success requires avoiding the trap of saying the wrong things that will only make matters worse. After the affair has been discovered, if your partner does try to blame you, do not accept his or her assertions. Surviving infidelity requires talking about the affair. No one in their right-mind would consider dealing with cancer without help. Take the Emotional Abuse Test If you attack the outside lover, you blame him or her, you are telling your spouse it is not his or her fault—it is the fault of the "other" person… and you don't want to do that because then you will never be safe from future infidelity! A life-threatening disease can only properly be treated by trained experts. Make it your mantra. Click or Tap the image above for more information. He or she is a threat to the well-being of every member of your family. Yes, there are certainly extenuating circumstances that need to be considered if the two of you are going to reconcile such as outstanding problems in the marriage. Attacking the paramour After an affair is discovered, it's okay to hate the paramour, the outside lover. None of this is good or helpful in your situation and will make recovering from infidelity more difficult. Staying with a serial philanderer is like building a home on sand—your relationship problems and trauma will never end! Buy this book on Amazon. Not getting help after an affair When your marriage is afflicted with infidelity, it's like a body infected with cancer. You don't want to hand your partner excuses for behaving badly now or in the future. You need a map and a guide that takes you by the hand and leads you to a healthy and long lasting relationship. Well-meaning friends, lawyers and clergy, although they can be supportive, do not have the knowledge or experience to lead you your efforts to recover from infidelity.
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