But these holiday movie protagonists do not have it easy. It snowed steadily throughout the day, and I hummed carols as I rolled dough for sugar cookies with green frosting. Often Mom died at Christmas nothing of importance ever happens at any other point in the year in the Hallmark universe , compounding the psychological trauma that will be efficiently repaired by the end of the movie. The following pastimes are acceptable ways to enjoy the Christmas season, according to made-for-TV movies: A few notable favorites from the 14 movies we viewed: At this point, we had already watched 11 movies, and I could feel the Christmas magic working its way through my veins. Wheelchair bound, Jenna's life completely changes as she starts the program, her old friends and boyfriend distance themselves. And certainly no decent person would put up a fake tree. The concept is absurd to the point of insulting.
The Hallmark Channel, in particular, is directly targeting the kind of people who are outraged by insufficiently Christmassy Starbucks cups; each movie is an explosion of red ribbons, green boughs, jingle bells and multicolored string lights. People who dislike Christmas are punished, either by being abruptly dumped or by having their business plans thwarted. The genre features at least as many romantic leads who are supernatural beings as it does people of color. How did I even manage to land my husband without a shared devotion to the birthday of Christ? Wheelchair bound, Jenna's life completely changes as she starts the program, her old friends and boyfriend distance themselves. Made-for-TV Christmas movies are deeply suspicious of anything modern, elegant, tasteful or different. Also there by her side, at least at first, is her best friend, Heather Banks Alicia Ziegler. The two girls become friends as Jenna begins to crack Annie's tough exterior. The following pastimes are acceptable ways to enjoy the Christmas season, according to made-for-TV movies: But these holiday movie protagonists do not have it easy. There are no compromises when it comes to festive decor. Often Mom died at Christmas nothing of importance ever happens at any other point in the year in the Hallmark universe , compounding the psychological trauma that will be efficiently repaired by the end of the movie. A few notable favorites from the 14 movies we viewed: A large percentage of these films are set entirely or primarily in bed-and-breakfasts, lodges and inns. In made-for-TV holiday movie world, only three types of people exist: This kind of twofer allows viewers to simultaneously enjoy a Cinderella fantasy and a Christmas romance fantasy. Yet royalty is really only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Christmastime romantic fantasies. Historic inns, accordingly, are a made-for-TV holiday movie standby. They never allow themselves to shiver. Suddenly, Jenna must risk her own life to save her friend, and teach herself healing takes one step at a time. Just as Jenna is beginning to feel her feet, and fall in love with Will, she learns Annie is in more trouble than anyone could have guessed. The correct function of most made-for-TV holiday movies is to provide background noise while you dust the cabinets. I used to bake cookies with my mom every December and rush down the stairs on Christmas morning to ogle the presents spread under the twinkling tree. This is, surprisingly, not a Hallmark-movie-approved activity. Hallmark abhors a small apartment.
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