Using guilt is a form of emotional abuse, one that aims to control another individual by manipulating their emotions. Gossip only serves one family member to get others to gang up on you and you are left defenseless against the false beliefs about you being thrown your way. It is because of themselves. Therefore, under the ideal of family we spend years sacrificing our mental and emotional health in abusive relationships under the notion that we "have to" because these people are our family. Verbal warfare is never the place you will convince them of anything and these types of verbal interactions are set up to be their way or the highway.
Sherrie Campbell is a psychologist, nationally recognized expert and the author of Loving Yourself: I do not feel anger or resentment towards them because I took away their power to continually create chaos in my life. This very low blow was what I needed to be pushed over the edge of the cliff I had been standing on for so many years of wanting to jump but being too afraid of how I would be judged by them and others for making this decision. Nothing other people do is because of you. Look for the positive. Today, I am free. Valid Reasons to Terminate Relationships with Family 1. They are who they are. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. Their game is to blame everyone else, so be a smart frog. She is a co-author of Disabled Literature a book about the role of literature in shaping cultural paradigms , and writes regularly on the topics of psychology, family dynamics and spirituality. If you find yourself obsessed with the gossip about you and trying to right wrong information, and you are constantly being ostracized to the point you are losing sleep over it you are becoming poisoned with their toxicity. But no matter who they are, they know how to push your buttons and just drive you crazy. Not everyone will have a horrible moment like mine to push them off that cliff however, so, at some point you will just need to follow your gut and take the leap. Not everything is clear cut when it comes to severing long-standing relationships with people because often we have children involved which I will write a follow up article about, but as we heal and we find our value in the eyes of others and in our own achievements and self-love we start to realize that these family members accepting or us not, is no longer the defining feature of who we are. We can see that we do not stand a chance in changing these people and that by letting them continue to abuse us also teaches them nothing. When crazy-making, no-win games dominate the relationship such as the silent treatment, blame-games, no-win arguments that spin around on you, there is no point in continuing in this battle. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. One sided relationships are set up for your failure. Most people know intuitively when it's time to cut ties. When I cut my ties I felt the freedom I had always desired to feel and I also felt a certain aloneness, but I finally accepted they were never going to be able to love and support me in the ways I deserved and I was tired of exhausting myself to be "lovable" in their eyes. I do not hate them, and I do not need them. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When you are living in constant anxiety never knowing or being able to predict how any engagement is going to turn out, it is time to love yourself enough to let go. If you decide to confront a difficult family member, be direct and true to yourself. That decision only came after the most irreprehensible emotional abuse launched towards a success of mine. So, when you choose to sever ties you not only stand tall in your own health and self-love but you gift them the natural consequences their treatment of you merits.
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