Do not ask people to PM you. It allows them to carry on using this same behaviour, without issue. They will ridicule and then turn the insult back on the other person by being surprised that they took it to heart. They lack understanding about what personal space and identity mean, or just don't care. They may cater to your goodness and kindness at first, often praising you for the wonderful person you are. They are relentless in the pursuit of what they want and have little regard for who gets hurt along the way.
This is why language is so important. Posts may be removed and bans temporary or permanent may be issued without warning for violation of these rules. They really just care about what you can do for them. Abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, racism, homophobia, gendered slurs, agendas and encouraging violence are not tolerated in our community and will result in a ban. Crowding into your space—physically, emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually—is of no concern to them. They will make their target feel as if they are in the wrong. Ultimately they may try to get you to take responsibility for satisfying their needs, leaving no room for fulfilling yours. If you are not sure: It helps to add your age, gender, and pertinent info in order to get more replies and assistance. It allows them to carry on using this same behaviour, without issue. They know they have a good chance of hooking you into a relationship because you are a kind, feeling, caring person, and, of course, because you want to help. They have several ways of doing this, as many of you will recognize. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts. It's an instant ban. Do not ask people to PM you. They will often take what you say and do and twist it around so that what you said and did becomes barely recognizable to you. They are skilled communicators Master manipulators use language in order to confuse their victim. They often make you defensive. Always remember that what a person says and does are two very separate things. With the language they employ, they control the other person. A true victim will want support and understanding. Feedback Have some feedback for us? A "thank you" is always appreciated when others take time to help you. They can be passive aggressive or nice one minute and standoffish the next, to keep you guessing and to prey on your fears and insecurities. Regularly examine what you believe. It is another tactic they use to control a person.
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